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Welcome to the Corporate to Coach podcast. I'm Pamella, a former corporate professional turned certified life and business coach and mentor. If you're ready to sign clients, grow your soul-led coaching business and shed the employee identity so you can step fully into business ownership, you're in the right place. Let's begin. I'm so excited to talk about what I want to cover today because I'm going to be sharing a little bit about something that I am currently obsessed with in my personal life and how it relates to you and how the topic has come up with quite a few of my clients recently. So as you can see from the title, it's about giving away too much. And I want to talk about it because I've had clients say to me, 'I'm worried I'm giving away too much.' And ironically, their fear of giving away too much is stopping them from actually posting at all.
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Let me know if this has happened to you. So let's dive into the topic and what the personal thing is that I want to share with you. I'm laughing because some of you are going to freaking love this and some of you are going to be like, 'it's lost on me,' but I'm here for the wisdom on building my business. So stick with me. Trust me when I say it's worth your while, especially if you are a Harry Potter fan, because your girl is a very, very big Harry Potter fan, as are most of my closest friends and many of my clients. We are all big fans of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. And in the last couple of months, at the beginning of this year, to be honest with you, I came across something called fan fiction.
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Lean in, my friend. If you don't already know what fan fiction is, you are about to enter a world that is going to blow your mind. So if, like me, you grew up in the 90s and the noughties and Harry Potter was something that you grew up with and you are still waiting for your owl to come and deliver your invitation to join Hogwarts and you love watching the movies every Christmas and if, like me, every couple of years you read the books again, well. I have been introduced to a world where people, everyday people, who imagine a version of Harry Potter in a way that they imagine it unfolding. So some people, and maybe you've done this, you may have said, 'I wish I could see what their life was like 10 years after the books and movies finished.' I wish we could see what the rest of the wizarding world of Harry Potter is like.
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I wish I could just go to Hogwarts one day. Well, there are authors out there and I say authors, there are normal people who have no right to be writing a book. They're not authors. They're not; they've never written a book before until now. And they say, you know what? I actually imagine the ending a little bit differently. Or I love the story and I don't want it to end, so I'm going to write my own story. Or they see characters in the books that are underdeveloped in terms of their character development hasn't been developed and they fill in gaps or they create theories about the storyline and then they create their own story and they write entire books. That are either alternative universes, alternative endings, alternative character pairings, alternative perceptions.
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So one example of this is that there's somebody in the world took the time to take everything that Hermione Granger wrote and experienced, and then filled in the gaps as if it was written from Hermione's perspective. So you can go back and read the Harry Potter books, but from Hermione's perspective-it's blown my mind! And the reason why that is relevant: how excited are you, by the way, if you're a pothead like me, this is like so exciting. But. The reason why this is relevant to this idea of giving away too much and this fear that my clients and I see many coaches who I see you not posting as much as you could be, not showing up as much as you could be, your absence is noticed, is that these authors who have no right to be writing a book, I have you know.
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And have no deal, have no monetary value in writing a book other than just the sheer freaking pleasure of doing it because it lights them up. They write these books and they give them away for free. There is a library of books that are written on fan fiction, not just of Harry Potter, but The Hunger Games, Twilight. Fifty Shades of Grey. That was originally a fan fiction. Here's the magic. These fan fiction books get so popular. They get so much traction. They get so much of a fan base because these books are fucking brilliant, because they're how like characters have been reimagined. They're stories that we were itching to see. They're maybe a bit more raunchy. I'm not going to lie. They're all raunchy as fuck.
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They're way more raunchy than the kid books would allow, because, you know, especially the books where they're now in their 20s and they're dating and they're having sex. And they turn into the likes of Fifty Shades of Grey, which was originally a fan fiction of Twilight. So I have found the world of fan fiction. And it's not only like those kind of books. There's Lord of the Rings. There's like loads and loads of different fan fictions. And there is nothing to stop you. Writing a fan fiction of your favorite book or novels reimagined and many of these authors they they completely um openly say like I took inspiration from the greats like from Tolkien, from Sparks, from Brontë, from like all, all of the
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all of the inspiration it's like the shameless underworld of fan fiction which yes legally there are lots of complications because obviously they're not necessarily endorsed by the authors but it is it is also therefore illegal to make money from fan fiction but what happens is that the authors of fan fiction gain so much traction that they end up becoming authors in their own right and then that book gets released and then those who relate to the party that don't even know about fan fiction they just come across this wildly popular book that probably then becomes a movie that then becomes has its own body of fan fiction based on the book which was originally a fan fiction it it just blows my mind and the absolute itch that it has scratched in terms of satisfying my childhood and teenage dreams of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, of getting my owl.
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I just, every time I read one of these books and they rip my heart out, they are such excellent books, such beautiful writing. Yes, you can tell it's kind of, you know, it's not as perfected as books that are published. Like you can see spelling errors you might come across. Some flaws in the like grammar or the use of the language which you can tell is from a more amateur writer but it doesn't take away from the magic of the book so if by the way as a side note if any of you are like 'oh my freaking god' I need to read some of these books. Drop me a DM. I will get you the details. I can send you the links to access these books for free.
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You can download them on your Kindle and you can read them, and you will be obsessed. I am now on my fourth, my fourth fan fiction of alternative versions of Harry Potter adult versions. It is insanely good. And this is the thing. Every time I read one of these books, I sit there in awe of the generosity and the abundance of the world of fan fiction, of the way that these authors just give and they create and they do something because of their love of it. And every time I read a chapter, it just, I cannot but help. But think about my own business and think about all the ways that I could be even more generous than I already am.
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And it's so interesting to me that this is now about a year after I created the Abundance Marketing Method, which I shared in my program, Messaging Mastery, which is a masterpiece, I have you know. And in that- In that philosophy, I teach you as a life coaching business owner to market from the energy of generosity, to give to your audiences from the energy of I have so much to give and it is just my joy to give it to you. And so that might be challenging for you to hear, especially if you're in the camp of people. And especially if you're one of my clients listening to this who have recently come to me saying, oh, I'm worried about giving away too much. I'm worried I'm saying too much.
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I'm worried I'm saying so much that why would they pay me? And I get it. I have thought this in the past. Often our work, the work of coaches, I think the most authentic and integral, the most potent work that I find coaches tend to deliver on are the things that they have had to overcome themselves because they speak of it in such an embodied way. So I am very open in my. in my vulnerability in saying, yeah, once upon a time, I remember very distinctly thinking exactly this, like four years ago, I remember. I remember going into this niche of business coaching and I remember thinking, God, like everything I'm saying on my marketing is just it. Like I'm not hiding it. There is no freaking secret. There is no key.
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You just need your business fundamentals. You need an offer price, marketing, sales strategy, and then you need your CEO embodiment to go and actually become the version of you that can go and do it. Like that is it in a nutshell. Again, I reiterate, and by the way, take notes. That's the secret. So why would people pay me? Well, Because if it was that simple, everyone would be doing it. And you have something similar in what you know to be true. Whatever it is that you're about, the way that you embody it, the way that you see it, you need to be saying it over and over again in your marketing, because that is the philosophy of the marketing abundance method. So why would people pay you?
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Well, because it's one thing to read it on a post that they flicked over for literally 30 seconds. It's another to actually understand it, to integrate it, to overcome the challenges that they face when they are trying to be this way. They need your support in order to embody it. And there are some people who can read a post and go, oh, like, yeah, that is me. That is my truth. And I just needed a reminder and they run and they go and they and they expand. But then. You always become the person who expands for them. You become the person who reminds them of their power. That is attractive. That is desirable. And I think we forget that desire marketing and like what you want, like selling to the desire and the what they want factor.
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Is just as potent, if not more potent, than constantly selling to pain points and struggles. So giving from abundance is a core philosophy inside the marketing abundance method that I teach inside Messaging Mastery. And I know full well that on your good days, on the days where you're well-rested, where you've slept well, where you've got good time, energy, when you're feeling inspired, motivated, excited, you've just had some nice testimonial, you just signed a client, you're feeling good. In those moments, what I say makes absolute sense. You see my post, you run with it and you just off you go and you get all that value for free and I don't see a dime. And I ain't worried about that because I also know for every good day, there's also a bad day.
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And on those days you're thinking, 'I wish I had Pamela as my coach.' And so that compounded over time. Well, naturally, of course you hire me because I'm the one that helps you get back into that place that reminds you of your power. And then this is the other thing. When you are selling, and marketing, and speaking your truth, the congruency that shows in your marketing and selling translates into your delivery. So it's reinforced to the clients who have the proximity and the one-to-one support from you. And it supports your existing clients because they're reminded even when they're not being coached by you. So it's win-win for everybody because the goal isn't 'my'. Financial needs being met because that's my responsibility, not yours.
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The goal is abundance; the goal is transformation; the goal is alchemy; the goal is the fucking joy of living your best life. These are the the four reasons why I see coaches tend to shy away significantly from giving away too much and I put that in air quotes because 'You cannot give away too much' because, well, you'll see why when I go through these four. Number one is scarcity mindset. Like, oh, I don't want to give away too much. Well, that suggests that what you give away, you won't get back. But when you're giving from overflow, then it's not an issue to give away. It's a joy to give away. It's a gift to give away. So whenever you're scared and you're clutching on to what you've got, you're in an abundant, you're in a scarcity mindset.
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And as we know, you're all life coaches here, that ain't going to serve you. Then there's this aspect of the employee mindset. And what I see with clients who are still in the employee mindset, whether or not you're still in the nine-to-five, because often those who have left the nine-to-five still need to. Still need to decondition from the nine-to-five. So that's why clients tend to hire me as well, even though they've already left the nine-to-five. That deconditioning process is helping you decondition from this idea that I give to receive what I was saying earlier. It's like time for money or like I'll do that then. If I do that for you, then I'll get this in return. Oh, if I stay late, then maybe I'll get the promotion.
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If I do this and I itemize that, then I'll get paid for every single piece. Now, it's not that you don't want to be factoring in the amount that goes into what you are delivering. But when you look purely at your services as a commodity, then people will treat you like a commodity. And commodities are generally mass produced. Commodities, like and I always give this example inside my trainings, like commodities like selling a water bottle. Well, if I'm selling a water bottle and it costs me this much in material and this much in production costs and this much in overheads, and then I add on 20% for my margin, and then Jane blogs next to me does the same. But she manages to procure her resources slightly cheaper so she can start selling slightly cheaper, then we're competing on price.
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When you start commoditizing yourself, competing on price, then that's all you become. That's your only selling point. Your USP, your unique selling point becomes nothing but, well, I'm cheaper than her, so work with me. Now, life coaches don't operate in that way because not every life coach is the same. Me and Jane blogs do not offer the same transformation because we don't offer the same wisdom. We don't offer the same experiences. We don't offer the same story. We don't offer the same modalities. But again, that's, again, something you could easily commoditize. So you really want to steer away from that. So whenever I see clients come to me, and this happens a bit, and I love you if you're one of my clients who have done this. I know we've coached on this already.
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But when you come to me and you're like, well, I've done my market research, I've done my SWOT analysis, I've done my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. And I know that the average rate for a life coach per hour is this. And I want to be charging this because EFT sessions are this, and a hypnosis session is this. You've gone into being a commodity. You're literally pricing your business from the employee mindset. You're not thinking like an entrepreneur. You're not thinking in terms of transformation. You're simply thinking in terms of time for money. So of course, when it comes to marketing and selling, if you are thinking to yourself, 'I don't want to give away too much,' it's because you're thinking of what you have to offer as a commodity, and that there's a finite amount of it.
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And then ironically, this leads into the third fear, which is the fear of being undervalued. So I see this a lot when there is healing to be done. And as always, if you've listened to my podcast episodes before then you'll know this, but if this is your first time listening to an episode then welcome, I'm so glad you're here. But healing is a very dualistic aspect when it comes to growing coaching business because let's be honest, there are plenty of very successful entrepreneurs out there who have never done a day of healing in their life; they don't even care about personal development; they really couldn't give two shits about doing the inner work, the healing, the growth, the spirituality-not on their radar, not necessarily not necessary and not necessary.
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And they make money anyway. So why is it in the life coaching space for life coaching business owners, why is personal development such a critical factor in the growth of a coaching business? Well, it's because we as women have been conditioned to devalue ourselves. Whereas in wider business that operates by the standards of the patriarchy and normal commerce and economics, not that we don't, but when they play only by those rules, they can also succeed only by those rules, meaning they can play the numbers game. They do look at their services in terms of commodities and they approach it accordingly. But every single life coach that works with me does it because they want to build a life coaching business because it is intrinsically connected to who they are as an individual.
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It is because it lights them up from a fulfillment perspective, from an embodiment perspective, from selling services and helping people in a way that is not about treating people or their healing like a commodity, but instead treating it at the level of spiritual transformation that it is. So when we are operating the game, in the game of the 5D, of alignment, of congruency, of doing things that feel good and safe and expansive to our nervous system, we cannot expect to build a business at the level of capitalism or the patriarchy. Even though, of course, it's capitalism that allows us the freedom to do this. So I'm not knocking capitalism. I love capitalism. But when we are playing by those rules of corporate, then of course we open ourselves up to being highly undervalued because this is the thing.
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There is no financial number that you could put on who you are as a person. You are so much more than a number. Even if someone paid you $100,000 for an hour of your time, that wouldn’t even touch the value of who you are because the value of who you are as a person is exponential, it’s infinite. So how do you value something that is infinite? How do you value something that is priceless? Well, then that’s when it comes down to the value that feels safe in your body. So I often find clients who come to me and say, ‘I’m really scared of success. I’m scared that I will be judged if I earn too much money.
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I’m scared that I will be abandoned if I am seen to be doing something that my family doesn’t approve of, that my parents don’t approve of.' I'm scared to fail and not ever find my true capacity and my true capability in this one precious life. Lots of clients come and work with me because they say to me, this coaching business isn't just about finding good margins on something that I can commoditize, slap a margin on and reap some money and profits from. Like, my God, if that's really what you're interested in, you just want to get rich quick and sell something and make money off it. Coaching is not the business to go into. For most people, that fear of success is actually just a fear of failure in disguise.
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And often that fear of failure comes down to them not valuing themselves. Because if they valued themselves, there is no amount of failure that they could possibly experience that would ever devalue them because their value is limitless. Their value is priceless. So then it stands to reason that if you truly knew and truly embodied that what you are and who you are is infinitely valuable by very existence, then everything that you communicate, everything you share is an extension of that value. And nobody, nobody could do or say anything that could possibly undervalue that because it's your core truth. It's as true as the air that we breathe. How can you possibly fear something that doesn't exist? So how can you fear being undervalued by giving away too much if it is impossible to undervalue you because the only person who can value you is you?
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And often it is our own demons that we are fighting in the first place. Our own inner dialogue, our own perception of ourselves. We devalue ourselves. Anything that we ever experience from the outside world, the lack of engagement, the lack of likes, the lack of interest, the lack of clients, the lack of consult. And we make that mean something about ourselves is because we made it mean something about ourselves. And so, because you make it mean something about yourself, you undervalue yourself and then you hold back, and then you're scared to give too much because you feel like when you give, you get nothing in return. Versus when you are truly embodied and you are truly using messaging mastery in its truest form and you are truly embodied as the coach of choice, which is one of the concepts I teach you inside messaging mastery.
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You recognize your own value. You recognize that it's priceless. And so, your ability to create becomes abundant by nature. It is freaking magical when you reach that place. Because then you give it away for free, and you have no fear about that because you also know this is a dualistic truth. You also know that in so doing, it's natural that you'll reap returns because you don't even need it in the first place because you're giving from overflow. And that when you receive it in the form of clients and money-not if but when, because it's inevitable-then It wasn't a patch on them having the direct transformation from you. I know that I have given it all away, so to speak, in this episode.
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And I know it's not a patch on what it will be like when we actually coach together and you actually get to have my coaching on your specific problem in the way that this is coming up for you in your specific scenario. And this will be the same for your clients when you fully embody the marketing abundance method, and so the fourth one. And the fourth way I see this this fear of giving away too much is that you fear that you're going to run out of ideas. So if like on an intrinsic level, you know that you want to be in an abundance marketing mindset, you want to embody the abundance marketing method, and you're like, 'No, I don't want to be scarce I'm happy to not be scarce; I'm happy to get like give it away so to speak.
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I'm happy to be in abundance marketer and seller. And I know that I don't want to give my time away for money. I know that I'm deconditioning from the employee mindset. And I know that my value is intrinsic. But I am scared I'm going to run out of ideas. Okay, guys, this is another one. Another, like write this down, turn it into a freaking screensaver on your phone, like literally, like my clients have done this. And I did this when I first stumbled across this. The more you create, the more you create. It's one of my favorite affirmations that I give in the abundance marketing method. And I'm giving it to you here today on the podcast. The more you create, the more you create. Now, I'm not like the originator of this idea.
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It's just the way that I said it in those specific words is how it landed for me when the moment I embodied it, that was how I embodied it through those words. Because linguistics are powerful. And semantics are powerful, so for me, the more you create, the more you create. However, since I have discovered this beautiful truth, I have also come across some of my own business coaches who have their own way of saying this and I'll share one of them which freaking cracks me up so bear with me because it's kind of gross and I'm not much of a crude person but every now and then I'm happy to share with you for the for the shits and giggles and it is that like you need to poop every day, every day you're gonna poop and you need to get it out of you because you're gonna eat and then you're gonna have to poop again; creativity is the same, it's important to poop regularly, guys.
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You can't hold it in because it's not good for you and creativity is the same when you hold it in, it's like you get stuck and it's gross and it's better to get it out. So anyway, can we just like shake off that gross analogy like a bit A little bit properly for that kind of language, guys? But you cannot fear running out of ideas. It is a muscle. The stronger you get, the stronger you get. The more you create, the more you create. It is beautiful. It is beautiful. Now, for those of you who are givers, those of you who have people-pleasing tendencies, those of you who have a little bit of codependency, or a little bit of fawning; then for you giving may not be a healthy dynamic for you.
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And this is going to require, and this is where the one-to-one comes in, this is where you may need some healing around that. Because I'm not going to lie, if you are, and I've seen this with my clients, If you are somebody that has regularly found yourself in a bit of a cycle of overgiving, of giving too much, not having very good boundaries, of course, your hesitation to give and be abundant in your marketing and in your selling is. is going to feel like a betrayal of self, especially if you've worked really hard to put boundaries in place. If you've worked really hard to stop being a people pleaser, then of course the marketing abundance method is going to feel like a contradiction to that.
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And what I want to offer is that what if giving away too much is only ever actually giving away too much if you're doing it from a wounded energy? As in, oh, if I give this, then I will receive the validation I need. Oh, okay. If I give everything away, then maybe I'll finally make the clients and money. If I give this, maybe they'll like me. Maybe they'll follow me. Maybe they'll see how good I am. That unhealthy, slightly toxic relationship that you then have with your audience, with your perception of the algorithm, with your socials, your email list, even like doing a workshop, masterclass, or challenge. If you're coming at even your programs, and you're like one-to-one programs, your offerings, and if you run a course, or like, ah, this is a good one, when you're launching, and you're like, I had this with a client recently, when you're launching,
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And then you're like, right, in order for them to like this, to think that the offer is valuable, then maybe if I give them extra bonuses and add on this, then add on that and blah, blah, blah. That is actually the codependency playing up. That's the, if I give enough, then maybe they'll want it. If I give enough, then maybe it'll be good enough. If I give enough, maybe then they'll see the value. And that's okay. It's okay if that's why you're doing it. And you're probably thinking, yeah, but I see people give away so much all the time. I see these big coaches give away bonus after bonus after bonus. And it's like, I can't even compete with that.
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But I want you to consider that at this stage of your business, don't compare yourself to the bigger coaches who just have that many more resources that for them, it's easier to give because they just have more to give. See what's happening here? The more you give, the more you give. The more you have, the more you have. The more you create, the more you create. There's a reason why the bigger coaches and again, if you're not watching but you're listening, because I also put this on YouTube and on my blog, so if you prefer to listen and receive it as a masterclass, you can. You can go and do that. But if you're listening, I'm doing the quotation marks by my head. The reason you see them give so much.
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Is because they have created so much that they have it to give. But if, like most of my clients, you're in the early, like one to three years of your business, or even if you've been in business longer, but like you're still struggling to sign a client once a month as a minimum, or you're not at like $5,000 or $10,000 months yet, then you're not going to have as much to give because you haven't created as much yet. So don't be comparing yourself to coaches who are in a completely different like league when it comes to the level of. Of content and the level of like of things and IP
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that they have created because it's unfair to your level of creativity to compare yourself to that and you don't have to compete to that because how did they ever get there well they had to start where you are they had to start with not having a whole bank of stuff that they could just throw in for free and and so if I go back to the original point when you are thinking to yourself, I need to add more, I need to give more so that I can receive X, Y, Z, as opposed to the marketing abundance method, which teaches if I give more because it's my joy to give more, because it lights me up, because I want to, then the energy isn't clean. You're doing it from a place of scarcity.
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You're doing it from a place of codependency and it's wounded. When you give yourself permission to let what you have to offer be enough, when you remember your value is limitless and priceless, and that actually it really just comes down to developing your skillset in being able to communicate the value of what you have, and you give from that place, and you give generously from that place, then you are as a byproduct giving more. And that is highly valuable to your clients. That becomes something that they not only can pay attention to because they are genuinely compelled to, because the energy that you're transmitting, your magic is clean and healthy, then the more you get to enjoy the process, the more you can create, and the more you tend to receive as a byproduct.
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It is truly, truly magical. So the four slash five things that are stopping you from giving away too much to recap is the scarcity mindset, the employee mindset, the fear of being undervalued, and the fear of running out of ideas. And then the fifth is the constant comparison. When we can overcome those things, and like guys, there is plenty in this episode for you to run with and implement. If you never pay me a dime, this will make you a better coach, a better marketer, a better salesperson. If you want to come in and do this work at a deeper level and learn how to embody it, have my eyes on your marketing and sales. And have my support in the healing that needs to be done with some of these more deeper fears that go back a little bit further, then that's what we'll do in the one-to-one, but you can also buy Messaging Mastery separately.
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And if you want me to literally audit your stuff, I also have a brand new audit that I recently released. But when you work through those four/slash/ five fears and scarcity mindsets that are holding you back, That's when you truly step into what I call the Marketing Abundance Method. You step into the version of you that gives generously for the joy of it, which tends to result in you giving generously for the joy of it. You enjoy the process of marketing and selling. And as a byproduct, marketing and selling more; as a byproduct, receiving more sales and clients as a result, and being able to create more. And in time, when you do then become that 100K coach, that seven-figure coach, whatever your goals are.
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You naturally have a whole body of work to draw from. It's just magical. And in my opinion, it's the only way to grow and scale a sustainable business that feels fucking fantastic and feels nothing like your nine-to-five ever did. So this is the work that we do when we work together. And if you loved that, then you can come and do that work long-term with me, either inside Thrive Group or my one-to-one, depending on the level of support that you would desire. The link is in the show notes. Go and grab that straight away. I cannot wait to have a look at your messaging with you. And in the meantime, take the philosophies from this training, from this podcast episode. God, it could be a training in and of itself. And go and enjoy your marketing and selling. Drop me a DM. Let me know how this was. If you loved this episode, please subscribe. Trying to remember to ask you to do that more. Give it a subscribe. Give it some stars. And tune into the next episode. And otherwise, I'll see you inside one of my containers. All right. Have a beautiful day. And I'll speak to you very soon.
